Lou Strickland Throws YankieDude5000 Down the Gorge and Gets Grounded

Lou Strickland was walking along, and then he met Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens, who were glum.

Lou Strickland: Hi, kids. Why are you all so glum?

Lawson: Because we got a substitute principal who's worse than Fluttershy106. It's YankieDude5000

Gelman: He suspended me.

Mundy: Yeah, he whomps.

Skeens: I agree with Mundy.

Lou Strickland: What?! You mean, YankieDude5000, the one I hated so much?

Lawson: Yes!

Lou Strickland: Do you hate him?

Lawson: Yes! We do!

Lou Strickland: I'll help get rid of YankieDude5000 for you. I got the idea from the Lion King! First, I will take TJ Detweiler down to the gorge. Then you and I release the herd of cattle into the gorge. Attack the ill cow upon my signal, thus triggering the stampede. Then I will rush over to YankieDude5000, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus to come over to the gorge, and I'll get YankieDude5000 to save TJ. He'll place TJ on a safe rock. When he climbs up the gorge to call for my help. Then I will throw him down the gorge, and he'll fall in the stampede. Okay guys, come with me and let's go and fetch TJ.

Lawson: Okay, let's go!

So Lou Strickland, Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens went off to fetch TJ Detweiler.

Lou Strickland: Lawson, Gelman, Mundy, Skeens, fetch Fluttershy106, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus while I take TJ to the gorge.

Lawson: Affirmative!

Lou Strickland went off to TJ's house. Then Lou Strickland arrived at TJ's house.

Lou Strickland: Hello, Theodore Jasper Detweiler!

TJ: Hi there yourself, Strickland! What's up?

Lou Strickland: I'm taking you to the gorge so you can look around.

TJ: Oh boy! This is an exciting adventure! Let's go together!

So Lou Strickland and TJ went off to the gorge. Later, they arrived down in the large canyon. Lou Strickland and TJ were near a rock, underneath a small tree.

Lou Strickland: Now you wait here. YankieDude5000 has a marvelous surprise for you.

TJ: Oooh. What is it?

Lou Strickland: If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?

TJ: If you tell me, I'll still act surprised.

Lou Strickland: Ho ho ho. You are such a naughty boy.

TJ: Come on, Strickland.

Lou Strickland: No-no-no-no-no-no-no. This is just for you and your substitute principal. You know, a sort of... student-principal... thing.

Through TJ's expression, he resented Lou Strickland's dismissive attitude, but soon shrugged it off.

Lou Strickland: Well! I'd better go get him.

TJ: I'll go with you.

Lou Strickland: (Loud, snapping tone) No! (regaining composure) (in normal voice) Heh heh heh. No. Just stay on this rock. You wouldn't want to end up in another mess like you did with Lawson and his friends...

TJ was shocked.

TJ: You know about that?

Lou Strickland: TJ, everybody knows about that.

TJ was meek and embarrassed.

TJ: Really?

Lou Strickland: Oh, yes. Lucky Principal was there to save you, eh?

Lou Strickland was clearly enjoying himself; he put a hand on TJ's shoulder.

Lou Strickland: Oh... and just between us, you might want to sing 'This Old Man'. Hmm?

Lou Strickland started to pull away.

TJ: Oh... Okay...

Lou Strickland patted TJ roughly on the head, and then moved off.

TJ: Hey, Strickland, will I like the surprise?

Lou Strickland: (Turning back over his shoulder) TJ, it's to DIE for.

Later at the cattle field, Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens were waiting off at the edge of the cattle herd, hidden under a rock arch.

Lawson: Come on, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens. Keep moving the herd, will you? Strickland needs a stampede.

Gelman: I know, Lawson. I know.

Mundy: We're doing it, Lawson. Don't worry.

Skeens: This trick will be working.

Lawson: That's it! That's it! Come on, you can do it!

Then Lou Strickland came, and Lawson made an evil, almost humorous face.

Lawson: There he is. Let's go.

Lou Strickland: Excellent, guys! Now attack the ill cow!

Lawson: Right!

Gelman: Let's beat that cow with sticks!

Mundy: Yeah, let's do it!

Skeens: This is going to be fun!

Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens began to beat the ill cow with sticks in order to trigger the stampede. The cow was howling in pain. Meanwhile, back down the gorge. TJ began to sing 'This Old Man'.

TJ: ''This old man, he played one. He played knick-knack on my shoe; with a knick-knack paddywack, give the dog a bone. This old man came rolling down.''

There came a low rumble. TJ looked down and saw pebbles jumping. A herd of cattle were coming over the lip of the gorge. TJ was terrified.

TJ: Oh no! This is terrible!

TJ felt angry, and waved his fist.

TJ: Strickland, you set me up!

Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens were chasing the cattle herd, beating them with sticks to drive them over the edge.

At a short distance from the canyon. Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus were talking to YankieDude5000.

Vince: Oh look, YankieDude5000. The herd is on the move.

Spinelli: Yes, they're running along.

YankieDude5000: Odd...

Lou Strickland ran up, out of breath.

Lou Strickland: YankieDude5000. Quick. Stampede. In the gorge. TJ's down there!

YankieDude5000: TJ?

Gus: Oh no! TJ's going to be killed!

Gretchen: He'll be run over!

Mikey: Oh no! We'll lose TJ forever!

Back down the gorge, TJ kept on running, and then he climbed up a dead tree. Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus ran ahead of YankieDude5000 and Lou Strickland, down into the canyon. They spotted TJ. TJ was clinging precariously to a tree.

TJ: Guys! Help me!!

Vince: YankieDude5000 is on the way! Hold on!

TJ was losing grip.

TJ: Hurry!

YankieDude5000 and Lou Strickland were on the lower ledges of the gorge. Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus ran back to YankieDude5000 and pointed out where TJ was.

Spinelli: There! There! On that tree!

YankieDude5000: Hold on, TJ!

In the gully, a cow rammed the tree TJ was on, nearly breaking it.

TJ: Ahhhh!

YankieDude5000 ran out into the herd, joining the stampede. Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus were horrified.

Vince: Oh Strickland, this is awful.

Spinelli: What will we do? What will we do?

Gretchen: Hah... we'll go back for help, that's what we'll do.

Mikey: Yeah, TJ will be run over by that terrible stampede! What heartless fiends!

Gus: TJ will be dead! We'll go back for help! We'll tell our parents about that!

Lou Strickland got annoyed.

Lou Strickland: Oh shut up, you idiots! All of you suck! Get out of here right now!

Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus fled in horror. Lou Strickland followed YankieDude5000's progress from the lip of the gorge, his shadow cast mysteriously from the bottom of the gully. YankieDude5000 ran with the herd till slightly past the tree. He whipped around the front of some cow and ran into the herd towards TJ's tree. He got rammed head-first once, throwing him to the ground. A cow hit TJ's tree, throwing TJ into the air.

TJ: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

YankieDude5000 got up in time to catch TJ in the air with his arms.

YankieDude5000: No problem, TJ. I'll get you home to safety.

YankieDude5000 got hit again and accidentally threw TJ. TJ dodged a few oncoming cow. YankieDude5000 ran by with the herd and grabbed TJ. He jumped up to a near rock ledge and set TJ down, but was immediately struck by a cow and carried off into the stampede.

TJ: YANKIEDUDE5000!

TJ watched in horror as he couldn't find YankieDude5000 in the swirling mass of cows below him. At the last second, YankieDude5000 leaped out of the herd and started to climb with great difficulty up the sheer rock slope. TJ turned and started to climb up to the top of the gorge. Out of TJ's sight, YankieDude5000 reached a point right below a ledge where he couldn't climb due to the steepness. His fingers were scraping and his hands had no traction. Above him on the ledge was Lou Strickland.

YankieDude5000: Strickland! Strick--

YankieDude5000 slipped and barely hanged on, and he begged Lou Strickland to help him.

YankieDude5000: Strickland! Help me!

Lou Strickland looked disdainfully down, and then suddenly latched onto YankieDude5000's hands with fingernails extended. YankieDude5000 screamed, primarily from the sudden pain of Lou Strickland's fingernails, but no doubt also due to the sudden flash of realization. His expression slowly changed to one of horror as he recognized Lou Strickland's intent.

Lou Strickland: Long live the principal.

Lou Strickland threw YankieDude5000 backwards. YankieDude5000 free-fell, back first into the stampede raging below.

YankieDude5000: Aaaaaaahh!

TJ was watching YankieDude5000 hit the ground. Fluttershy106 and TJ's screams mingled.

TJ: Noooooooooooooooooooo!

BUMP!

YankieDude5000 had hit the ground, and he was dead.

Lou Strickland cheered.

Lou Strickland: Yay! I threw him down the gorge! Yay! No more YankieDude5000! He's dead!

TJ bounded to the canyon floor, and he started to look for YankieDude5000. TJ coughed.

TJ: YankieDude5000!!

TJ's voice echoed.

TJ: (Quietly) YankieDude5000?

A stray cow ran past, the source of the sound. The cow curved around a log further down the gully. Under the log was YankieDude5000, laying on his side. He was not moving or breathing. TJ approached the body, and he was hopeful.

TJ: YankieDude5000? ...YankieDude5000, come on.

TJ rubbed up against YankieDude5000's cheek. The head merely rolled back in place after the rub.

TJ: You gotta get up.

TJ placed both hands on YankieDude5000's cheek and pushed.

TJ: YankieDude5000. I'll get you home.

TJ tugged at YankieDude5000's leg. Again the head limply moved back in place. TJ ran off a bit, obviously very scared.

TJ: HEEEEELP! Somebody!

TJ's voice reverberates hollowly off the sides of the gorge.

TJ: Anybody... help.

TJ began to cry, and he turned back to the body. He nuzzled up under the limp paw so that YankieDude5000 was embracing him. Just then, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus came.

Vince: Teej, what's wrong?

TJ: Oh, Vince. This is terrible. YankieDude5000 can't move.

Gus: Oh, this is a tragedy. A real tragedy. My dad's not going to be happy about this.

Gretchen: I know Gus, I know. I think YankieDude5000's got a broken body.

Mikey: Oh no, YankieDude5000's dead. This is terrible. Terrible!!! Waaaaaaaaaa!

Spinelli: Oh, don't cry, Mikey. YankieDude5000's going to be alright.

Then Spinelli thought of something.

Spinelli: I think YankieDude5000's not alright, we're going to cry now.

Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus started crying. Then Lou Strickland advanced through the dust.

Lou Strickland: TJ. What have you done?

TJ jumped back, and explained to Lou Strickland.

TJ: There were cows and he tried to save me... it was an accident, I... I didn't mean for it to happen.

Spinelli: TJ didn't do anything.

Vince: It wasn't his fault.

Lou Strickland embraced TJ, yet still distant.

Lou Strickland: Of course, of course you didn't. No one... ever means for these things to happen. But YankieDude5000 IS dead.

Mikey: No, no, it can't be. I can't believe YankieDude5000's dead.

Lou Strickland was looking with mock regret at TJ.

Lou Strickland: And if it weren't for you, he'd still be alive.

TJ was crushed, believing his guilt. Another thought "occured" to Lou Strickland.

Lou Strickland: Oh! All of you, guys. What will your parents think?

TJ and the Gang were still sobbing.

TJ: What are we gonna do?

Lou Strickland: Run away, TJ. And you, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey ansd Gus, run away. Run... Run away and never return.

TJ and the Gang ran off blindly, obviously broken. Then Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens came.

Lou Strickland: Boys, we did it! We took care of that YankieDude5000!

Lawson: Yeah, let's celebrate!

Gelman: Yeah, no more YankieDude5000! Hahahaha!

Mundy: Thanks for your help, Strickland!

Skeens: You're the best!

Lou Strickland: You're welcome, boys!

Lou Strickland went home.

Lawson: Okay, guys! Let's play 'Kick the Corpse'!

Gelman: Good idea, let's do it!

Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens started kicking YankieDude5000's dead body. Lawson was kicking YankieDude5000's face, Gelman was kicking YankieDude5000's broken body Mundy was kicking YankieDude5000's head, and Skeens was kicking YankieDude5000's bottom. Soon, they stopped kicking YankieDude5000's dead body.

Lawson: Okay, guys. Let's let his dead body rot in the gorge forever. Let's go home.

So Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens went home. Back in Lou Strickland's house, Alan Strickland was about to watch TV.

Alan Strickland: I am going to watch the news.

Then Alan Strickland turned on the TV to watch the news. The scene took place in the GNN News studio, Mort Chalk began to make an announcement.

Mort: This is Mort Chalk. Big Story News. Today was a terrible tragedy. A man named Lou Strickland and four boys named Erwin Lawson, Leo Gelman, Conrad Mundy and Greg Skeens had released the herd of cattle into the gorge, Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens attacked the ill cow upon Lou's signal, thus triggering the stampede to chase TJ after Lou left TJ down at the bottom of the gorge. Then Lou got the substitute principal of Third Street School Fluttershy106 and TJ's friends Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus to come over to the gorge, and he got YankieDude5000 to save TJ. YankieDude5000 placed TJ on a safe rock. Then he climbed up the gorge to call for Lou's help. But Lou had betrayed him, and threw him down the gorge where he fell in the stampede. Lou was responsible for his death, much to TJ's dismay. Now everyone in Third Street School are going to mourn YankieDude5000's death. Anyways, stay tuned because there are more commercials showing up. We will see you after the break.

Alan Strickland was furious.

Alan Strickland: What?! I can't believe that Lou Strickland is responsible for YankieDude5000's death! He's in so much trouble now! Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I want a word with him right now!

(We see Alan Strickland's dad angry with a firey background surrounding him)

Alan Strickland's dad: (Scary voice) Lou Strickland, Lou Strickland, Lou Strickland, Lou Strickland, Lou Strickland, get over here right now!

At the lounge, Alan Strickland was furious with Lou Strickland.

Alan Strickland: Lou Strickland, how dare you throw YankieDude5000 down the gorge?! Now everyone reacted to his death, thanks to you! Especially TJ and his friends, Miss Finster, Principal Prickly, Miss Grotke, other teachers and other students of Third Street School! Where did you get the idea from?

Lou Strickland: Um, um, um... I got the idea from The Lion King where Scar throws Mufusa down the gorge. I took TJ Detweiler down to the gorge. Then I got Lawson, Gelman, Mundy and Skeens to release the herd of cattle into the gorge and attack the ill cow upon my signal, thus triggering the stampede to chase TJ. Then I rushed over to Fluttershy106, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Mikey and Gus to come over to the gorge, and I got YankieDude5000 to save TJ. He placed TJ on a safe rock. Then he climbed up the gorge to call for my help, and I threw him down the gorge where he fell in the stampede. Then I told TJ and his friends to run away and never return so they won't go near YankieDude5000 ever again.

Alan Strickland: That was a very bad thing to do! TJ and his friends are crying about YankieDude5000's death, because of you! Now Miss Finster has to bring Dr Slicer to take his place, thanks to you! That's it, you are grounded, grounded grounded until you watched The Lion King! Perhaps it will teach you not to throw anyone down the gorge like Scar did to Mufusa! Instead of going to your room, start watching The Lion King right now!

Lou Strickland did as he was told.

Lou Strickland: Whatever you say, dad.

CAST

Tom as Lou Strickland

Eric as Lawson, Mundy and TJ Detweiler

Joey as Gelman and Mikey Blumberg

Brian as Skeens

Hugh as YankieDude5000

Paul as Vince LaSSao

Julie as Spinelli

Amy as Gretchen Grundler

Evil Genius/David/Zack as Gus Griswald

Alan as Alan Strickland

Dallas as Mort Chalk

Scary voice as Alan Strickland's dad's angry voice