Joseph Calls His Baby Brother Stupid

Transcript
(open to Kimberly and Diesel Evans sleeping on the bed when the former begins to feel a pain in her stomach)

DIESEL: (awakes and sees his wife groaning horribly at his bedside) What's the matter, honey?

KIMBERLY: Euuuuh... I think I'm gonna hurl! I have to go to the WC.

DIESEL: (thinking) I think I know why she's ill... (SFX: scary, mood: shocked) Oh my God! She's pregnant, with a boy!

(later that day)

DIESEL: Joseph! Jodie! Get over here right now! I have something important to tell you!

JOSEPH: Look, Dad, I didn't mean to buy an iPod last week without your permission...

DIESEL: Not about that: I mean it's something to do with your mother.

JODIE: Is her stomach getting too big?

JOSEPH: Sort of. (both Joseph and Jodie stifle a chuckle) But seriously, I think she's... well... let's go and find out what's the matter.

(Joseph and Jodie walk to the living room where Diesel and Kimberly are waiting for them)

JODIE: So what are you trying to tell us, Dad?

DIESEL: Well, Jodie and Joseph, the reason I've called you here is that your mother— well— she's... did you know about the birds and the bees?

JOSEPH and JODIE: (in chorus) Yes.

DIESEL: Well, your mother and I have done each other many months ago, and I noticed she is expecting another child soon...

JODIE: And that means?

DIESEL (pauses impressively) She's pregnant.

(SFX: scary, everyone in room is shocked)

JOSEPH: We must take her to a hospital!

DIESEL: Clever thinking, son. Soon you'll not be the only son in this family...

(The Evans family takes Kimberly - the mother - to hospital. A few minutes before leaving, her water broke. It is clear to them that Kimberly's baby is about to leave the womb. Let's see what's going on in the hospital, as at this time she is in the final stages of labour.)

VOICE: The Doctor is here...

JOSEPH: Hey, you're Thomas the Tank Engine, aren't you?

THOMAS: Yes indeed. I had to volunteer at this hospital since the doctor working in this room had a little... hum... accident.

DIESEL: That's sad. I hope he feels better.

THOMAS: (sighs) I hope so, too, Mr Evans.

JODIE: Is she going to be all right, Doctor?

THOMAS: Yes, all she needs is a little push.

DIESEL: Go on honey! You can do it! Push, push, push, push, push, push!

KIMBERLY: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaurgh!

(baby comes out)

DOCTOR: It's a boy (the others know it is) what would you like to name him?

KIMBERLY: (thinking) I haven't thought on naming my baby until now. (speaking) Johnny.

THOMAS: Johnny, is it? Such a lovely name for a boy!

JODIE: I agree with Thomas.

DIESEL: So do I.

JOSEPH: (disgusted) Man, apart from the clever name, he sure looks stupid AND AS FOR YOU PORTIA PORCUPINE, GET OUR OF THIS RETAEDED HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I WILL KILL YOU WITH A LOT OF WORLD WAR 2 WEAPONS!!!!

(others recoil in horror, even Thomas who shows his infamous 'O' face: cue ditty)

(baby starts to cry, people and engine in room are cross)

DIESEL: Joseph, how dare you call the baby stupid— o o o o o o o o o o o o o o! Let's go home now!

(back home, Joseph on couch)

DIESEL: You need a good spanking, young man!

JOSEPH: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!

DIESEL: You are grounded grounded grounded, this means no more TV, no movies, no more video games, no more life and everything eeleelse excep. Now go upstairs to your room, and don't come out until it's dinner

JOSEPH: (runs to his room, crying) Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

KIMBERLY: Let's get you a bottle, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay!

(Johnny drinks bottle and calms down)

(meanwhile in Joseph's room)

JOSEPH: Man I hate being grounded! If only Kimberly was never pregnant with Johnny, I wouldn't have been grounded today! (scheming) Wait a minute! If I torture my baby brother, there'll be loads of potential for this new grounded series— starring me! (no longer scheming, happy and looks and camera) And don't forget to look out for Episode Two, coming soon!

(THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Episode Two coming next week I think.)